We all get turned down sometimes. It’s not a particularly nice feeling. You put yourself out there, make yourself vulnerable for a moment and you get turned away. But it’s a good thing not to get what you want from time to time. It’s life affirming and makes you stronger.

Yesterday evening I went to see Fionn Regan performing for the DU Literary Society in Trinity’s beautiful old chapel. The seats were set out with two pews, which faced each other, on either side of a long central aisle. Sitting in the pew directly opposite me was a girl I had seen before. I had talked to her for all of ten minutes at a party and at some point later on during the night her friend, who I had never met before, approached me:

Friend: “Dan?”
Me: (a little confused, because some chic I don’t know has just approached me and somehow knows my name) “eh… yeah”
Friend: “hmm…. this is really really weird….. but ….. eh…. my friend…. you know, the girl you were talking to there…. eh….. she really likes you.”
Me: “… o – k
Friend: “so……. will I tell her you’re interested?”
Me: “eh…. I dunno”
[at this point, rather than saying “no, I’m sure she’s great, but no thanks love”, I decided, for some reason, to continue saying things like “ok” and “that’s good” and “eh.. right” in the most awkward tone a human being can possibly produce, until the girl’s friend asked: “so… are you gay?”]

What the fuck?

The sad thing is that this wasn’t the first time this had happened. At another party a few months before, a seriously drunk girl also enquired about my sexual orientation after I made it quite clear that I didn’t want to “go upstairs” with her. I realise i’m not exactly the most overtly masculine man around – I’m not the kind of guy who spends his day high-fiving my rugby-chums after my my mate “Padráig the Ledge totally beat the shite outta some absolute knack at a Bell x1 concert cuz he got his druggy hands on his ‘Cormbie hoodie” – but back to the point at hand:

Rejection doesn’t require a reason.

This isn’t a crit – i’m not going to give you constructive criticism (except maybe be more attractive, generally)

And what would make a person so arrogant as to think that the only possible reason in the world that someone wasn’t attracted to them is because they were gay?

Suck it up and walk it off.


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