Archive for the ‘Awkwardness’ Category

Low-Level Contact


It’s said that everyone in the world is connected. The only thing between me and some other person on this planet is, at most, six degrees of separation.


Now thanks to modern technology we can all be directly connected. Everyone we’ve ever met can be our Facebook friend.

I have 283 friends.

I haven’t seen many of them in person in years. It’s generally not because we’re separated by a large land mass or anything, in fact some of them live very close to me, it’s more because we have a mutual disinterest in each other’s lives, but still I receive daily updates on their “mad college nights out” and their J1 last summer and their upcoming trip to Thailand. Just about the only thing I have in common with these people is the fact that we both have a Facebook account.

I guess i’m just tired of low-level contact with people I don’t really know anymore. I understand that talking to others can be intimidating for some people. Technology that removes the human aspect from interpersonal contact is a god send for these people. But just because you’re less intimidated by the prospect of sharing your thoughts doesn’t mean you should share every mundane thought that goes through your mind.

Was human interaction better, or indeed, easier back in the pre-internet days? I mean if you didn’t have the internet or text messaging would you bother phoning some casual acquaintance or even writing them a letter just to find out about what’s going on in their life? Would you go to all that trouble to ask them the most generic mundane question about their plans for the summer or how their exams went and so on?

Did people have to deal with having awkward disjointed conversations on Facebook Chat with people they don’t know very well or much care about?




We all get turned down sometimes. It’s not a particularly nice feeling. You put yourself out there, make yourself vulnerable for a moment and you get turned away. But it’s a good thing not to get what you want from time to time. It’s life affirming and makes you stronger.

Yesterday evening I went to see Fionn Regan performing for the DU Literary Society in Trinity’s beautiful old chapel. The seats were set out with two pews, which faced each other, on either side of a long central aisle. Sitting in the pew directly opposite me was a girl I had seen before. I had talked to her for all of ten minutes at a party and at some point later on during the night her friend, who I had never met before, approached me:

Friend: “Dan?”
Me: (a little confused, because some chic I don’t know has just approached me and somehow knows my name) “eh… yeah”
Friend: “hmm…. this is really really weird….. but ….. eh…. my friend…. you know, the girl you were talking to there…. eh….. she really likes you.”
Me: “… o – k
Friend: “so……. will I tell her you’re interested?”
Me: “eh…. I dunno”
[at this point, rather than saying “no, I’m sure she’s great, but no thanks love”, I decided, for some reason, to continue saying things like “ok” and “that’s good” and “eh.. right” in the most awkward tone a human being can possibly produce, until the girl’s friend asked: “so… are you gay?”]

What the fuck?

The sad thing is that this wasn’t the first time this had happened. At another party a few months before, a seriously drunk girl also enquired about my sexual orientation after I made it quite clear that I didn’t want to “go upstairs” with her. I realise i’m not exactly the most overtly masculine man around – I’m not the kind of guy who spends his day high-fiving my rugby-chums after my my mate “Padráig the Ledge totally beat the shite outta some absolute knack at a Bell x1 concert cuz he got his druggy hands on his ‘Cormbie hoodie” – but back to the point at hand:

Rejection doesn’t require a reason.

This isn’t a crit – i’m not going to give you constructive criticism (except maybe be more attractive, generally)

And what would make a person so arrogant as to think that the only possible reason in the world that someone wasn’t attracted to them is because they were gay?

Suck it up and walk it off.